EFFECTIVE MANAGEMENT?

The heat has finally abated somewhat at work. Today, we received an email of appreciation from the big bosses. I am rather surprised that we actually managed to meet the datelines after all. And even more surprised at the support of my team members. I guess I wasn't expecting to be very effective in getting them to do what I wanted, since my heart isn't in it in the first place. I wonder if anyone could tell....

I've got some unpleasant tasks coming up that I've put off forever, and which is now staring at me in the face. No, its not the MSc, although THAT has got to be dealt with soon as well. I'm referring to the nasty business of telling some of my team members that they aren't performing and that they had better pull up their socks, or else.

I hate this aspect of my job these days, probably because I am not the most exemplary employee myself as well. It feels so hypocritical to tell people off for discipline and/or performance issues when I am also not 100% compliant. Sure, I contribute a lot more than these people do, but still, my conscience ain't clear. But I still have to suck it up and do it, because it is effective management, according to my bosses.

I am also overdue to give some "carrots" talk to some other team members, i.e., telling them that they have done well and to keep the good work up. It is much easier than the telling off, but I still don't like to do it. I think it is hard for me to pull off such things sincerely, even though I do mean what I say. I think it sounds corny and unconvincing coming from me, probably because I can't follow up "You have done well." with "Here's an extra 500 bucks towards your salary. Thanks." Without the latter, the former is just words, in my opinion. And my words are of no value to anyone. Still, I have to suck it up and do it, again, for effective management.

I seriously don't know how other managers motivate their staff. I obviously can't do it properly, and hate to do it. I am obviously not a people person - I like doing my job by myself, without getting my hands dirty with all that effective management stuff. Hey, that's why I studied engineering in the first place, to become an engineer. Yet here I am, stuck on the climb up the corporate ladder to management, and trying to convince myself that I am fortunate to be there and that I like it.

I thought about getting off that ladder, to tell my bosses enough is enough, that I am unhappy, that I just want to remain a lowly engineer, doing what I like best - engineering. But it is a sad fact that engineers will never get paid what managers do, and I like what I am getting too much to reject it. And so I choose the mercenary path, and doom myself to climb that damn ladder and get mired in the effective management mud.

I am now only looking forward to that time when I am high up enough on the ladder. The first task on my list is to DELEGATE the effective management stuff and do some engineering work. Ah....a light at the end of the tunnel.