HI, I’M DECEMBER, ARE YOU MAY?

The weather continues to be hot and muggy, and I continue to contribute to global warming by taking multiple long showers and sinking into the air conditioned haven of my room. I just had my second shower in two hours minutes ago and in the process discovered more bruises on sundry parts of my body. I cannot imagine how scrappy I will end up if when I start to spar, if the day ever arrives, that is.

I came across two reports discussing May-December relationships recently. More specifically, they were discussing relationships between older women and younger men, in the Singaporean context. Initially, I thought the topic kind of dated, since I was under the impression that such relationships are rather common and accepted in our modern society. But it appeared that it is still not as widely accepted as I thought. Then again, I had only recently accepted such relationships with regards to myself.

I have been giving this whole thing about dating/marrying younger men a lot of thought recently. I suppose this is all part and parcel of getting to a certain age. Ten years ago, I had, in my naivety, blithely informed anyone who was in hearing distance, that I would absolutely never date or marry any guy younger than I was. I even stated a criteria that an acceptable future boyfriend or husband would have to be at least six to ten years older than I was. Even as recent as two years ago, I was still resistant to the thought of myself dating or marrying a younger man.

Why? The usual reasons – financial stability, emotional maturity etc etc that are usually deemed to be more present in older men. And I guess, to a certain extent, Chinese traditional mores are still strong in me.

I would like to say that getting older made me wiser, but it was in fact circumstantial changes that caused me to change my thinking. I discovered recently that almost all the men whom I feel some attraction to, are all younger than I am. Initially, I stopped myself from viewing them as potential prospects once I found out their ages, but it got so frequent that I realize that I was left practically “empty handed”. I had to start rationalizing my thinking if I wanted to get hitched eventually.

As I grow older, the pool of available older men continues to shrink. In addition, as I grow older, men who are younger than I am, are no longer that young in absolute terms anyway. This means most of them have also achieved some level of financial stability and emotional maturity etc, all those traits that I used to prize so much in older men. Once I convinced myself of the practicalities of the situation, I was able to accept that I may one day end up with a younger partner after all.

That is not to say I’m going out and getting hitched immediately. Many other factors still come into play. I may end up a happy (or not so happy) old maid spinster at the end of the day, but at least I would have exhausted my options before the day comes, I hope.