I BLAME YOU, IPHONE...

I hate the current iphone, Nexus One and what-else-have-you craze.

Because it somehow got my Dad involved.

My dad is effectively only monolingual (Chinese), has no idea exactly what the World Wide Web involves, and whose claim to computer literacy is knowing how to press the Power button on his laptop.

Despite the above handicaps, he is convinced that he has all he needs to conquer the latest in smartphones, despite all the valid points SB and I put up against what we consider a useless investment.

All because all his old foggy friends have caught onto the craze and are somehow managing to manoever their iphones. And so he needs to look cool as well.

And it so happens that he hates to call up the telcos, because of 1) the maze that is the automated answering machine, 2) the operators mostly speak English, 3) he is too lazy to do it. And it so happens he refuses to go down to the brick and mortar shop to enquire, because he has no time for queues and he is too lazy to do it. And it so happens that he has no means of finding or ordering anything online, because online is about as far away for him as outer space.

And so it happens that the processes of researching, acquiring, learning to use said phone(s) fall upon one of his daughters, SB or me.

My dad is further hampered by

1) A large ego, which prevents him from going for lessons on computer literacy
2) A lack of patience and a bad temper
3) Some laziness, which prevents him from reading the manual by himself and figuring the basic stuff out.
4) Advanced age, which affects short term memory, cognitive processes, motor skills, hearing etc etc.

All of the above which doesn't make the triple processes above easier for either of us.

In addition, I am faced with

1) My own laziness
2) My own lack of patience
3) My own techo-phobia. Which is why I am NOT buying into all the smartphone craze myself

Which makes me extremely reluctant to carry out that triple process for my Dad.

In fact, I am so reluctant that I have already issued my own ultimatum, that if he insists on getting the phone, he is to get it himself, and learn to use it himself. I am not about to waste my time and energy just so he can look cool in front of his friends. If I wanted to go through that, I would go out right now and adopt a teenager.

However, this has not stopped him from what he considers is his fatherly authority and making me look up all sorts of things regarding the phones on the internet, and a somewhat straggling sense of filial piety is making me comply, despite very ungraciously. I hate this sense of daughterly obligation that he likes to make use of.

So yes, I blame Apple, and Google and whoever who is going to come up with the next one for the loss of my peace and tranquility.

What an irony to dragged kicking and screaming into the techno age, by my old foggy father. The very thought staggers.