A NOT SO HAPPY NEW YEAR (AND SOME DIGRESSION)

It is the first day of 2010.

I read about everybody's farewell to the old year, everybody's resolutions, hopes and wishes for the coming year. And wonder at my own apathy.

I seem to feel a little less at the advent of each new year. For this one, I seem to have shut down totally. Perhaps in the years past, there is at least the relief one feels at having the day off for much needed rest and relaxation, if nothing else. Since I have been at home for a whole month already, with another two weeks to look forward to, I don't even get that much this year. Happy New Year, but really, wherein lies the difference?

It is a really loathsome stage to get into at only thirty two. That's so young, yet I feel like I am ready for retirement. I think of the few good years before me yet, and there is this sense that I am wasting precious time sitting here, whining and not doing anything about it. But this lethargic, lazy thing inside me says "Chill". Enjoy the sheer aimlessness, laziness, etc etc while it lasts for circumstances will not allow it for much longer anyway. I am in the Doldrums and enjoying it so much that I do not want to get out of it. I need a watch-dog to come and get me out of this place. Wherefore art thou?

Speaking of the Doldrums and the watch-dog, "The Phantom Tollbooth" is my New Year re-read. I wish that someone would send me the toll-booth and allow me to take a trip to The Lands Beyond to look for the Princesses of Rhyme and Reason. Maybe then, like Milo, I will be able to return with a fresh interest in the world around me, and find again my enthusiasm and zest for life. I used to have them, I know.

Or at the very least, I would like to meet the Terrible Trivium, my favorite amongst all the monsters in the Mountains of Ignorance. I don't think he is so very terrible really, for there is something also soothing and comforting in petty tasks and habits. To quote the Trivium: If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. Really, he just described my dream job and existence.

Frankly, if I had to give a Nobel Literature Prize to anyone, it would be Norton Juster for this very book. It is supposed to be only a children's book, but simple things are always the best. And in the current situation where even the so-called native English speakers have a hard time with their own language, I think adults will have a hard time with this book anyway. Which seems to be a key ingredient for a prize winning book these days.

I am digressing and getting incoherent. Best to stop here. And look for the road to the Castle in the Air. Because I think only Rhyme and Reason can save me now.