MONEY MAKES ME GO ROUND

There was an announcement at work this week about our upcoming variable bonus. It is going to be a very, very generous bonus, the highest that has ever been paid out in years. Apparently the company has done very well last year, even in the face of a world wide recession. And what is more, according to a very reliable source, next year’s bonus is already more or less confirmed at similar levels if no major incidents occur.

And then this morning, we received our share option entitlement for this year, which will make me a few thousand dollars richer at today’s prices. And I have more shares coming in the second and third quarters. I have my funding for my WMC trip already.

It is just as well that I have decided to stay put after the department re-organisation gave me a breather with regards to my job scope, and my new boss is leaving me alone for most part. I wonder if I could have made myself leave even if things had not changed at work, in the face of all that money, despite whatever grand decision I had come to previously.

I feel somewhat ashamed of being a whining hypocrite – complain, complain, complain, until money is thrown in my face and then I shut up for a while, and then continue to complain, complain, complain. I wish I had more of a backbone and a character. I wish I could prove that money is not the be-all and end-all of things by my own actions.

Anyway, it seems that whatever motivates or demotivates me, I will at least stay around for the next two years to cash in on the various monetary rewards. And then I would be receiving my 10 years long service award, so I may as well stick around for that.

And after that they will throw more money at me, and I will continue the cycle – complain, complain, complain, take money, complain, complain, complain….