ONE SWORD OF DAMOCLES, HANGING ON THE WALL

The news have not been very good for me so far, but as there is no firm diagnosis yet, I guess there is no point in making a it big deal for now. Meanwhile, I have been sort of given a two week reprieve before the Sword of Damocles fall (or not), and we are using these two weeks to hope for a miracle cure.

So we have gone into "fight mode" at home. Or at least the parents and sundry friends and relatives. I have been dragged very reluctantly into this whole thing. The only reason why I am succumbing to the fiasco is purely because it would be too much trouble not to, and besides it gives the parents something else to focus on.

I have been inundated with traditional remedies from various parties. I would have been kept busy swallowing the whole day if we did everything which was offered, so we picked the easiest and the one with a proven track record. So now I am taking this Chinese herbal brew alongside my other medication from the hospital. The parents have replaced all the fruits and vegetables at home with organic produce. A relative comes by frequently with other offers - organic soups, herbs, TCM books, articles etc etc. There is a stack of articles on my desk pending my "reading pleasure", in Chinese no less.

Various people are kept busy contacting doctors and other TCM specialists for second opinions. I am getting kind of overwhelmed and bewildered. In fact, I am starting to feel as if I have to remain sick so as to justify all the activities that are on-going on my behalf. There is a part of me, however, that is wallowing a little at all the attention I am getting.

The next two weeks will be difficult. And only because I hate to wait. It feels like those days before I got my "O" and "A" level results, and I can't seem to settle down to anything because my heart is all aflutter.

Oh, by the way, I really do only have one kidney. It happens to be a congenital condition. Imagine it took me 31 years to discover such an important fact about myself. Really, they should have some kind of organ stock check for new borns, then we won't be surprised by this later in life, and when it really matters too. It doesn't impact on my health at the moment, but I felt a certain physical emptiness in my body when I was informed of the fact. Funny thing, the human psyche.