CLEANING UP MY LIFE.....

I'm finally done cleaning up my room for Chinese New Year, finally! This is the earliest yet I've started on spring cleaning since I was born, and no urgings from Mum either. AND I cleaned all the hidden places as well. In a fit of continued virtue, I housekept the computer as well, cleaned up the folders, rearranged stuff, and going to do a defrag later. Man, I'm proud of me!

I actually like cleaning up now that I have got a decent place to keep my stuff. But somehow this does not apply to the rest of the house. Thinking of helping to clean up the rest of the house is somehow not as appealing. I think I only like cleaning up after myself.....

Cleaning gives me a lot of time for reflection, since there was not much brain work going on. Like an extension of all the physical cleaning activity going on, I thought about what part of my life I had tidied and cleaned up in the last one year, and what I needed to sort out in this new year....

I had let my part time studies go in the last few years. The end of my candidature is coming up in March, and I have nothing to show. I am resolved at this point to try my best to meet the dateline with something. Having to pay 40K back to the company, in the current economic situation, and with nothing to show for the money spent, urges me on. Somehow, putting my room in order seems to help me get the show on the road. I have sorted out all my lecture notes, and started planning for the owed assignments. If only this fit of virtue would last until I got all the work done.

Fitness wise, I am happy with where I am now. And I've got a whole new workout to look forward to, new experiences coming up, new people to meet and exercise with. Most importantly, I am hoping that all the new stuff I have put in place will enable me to break my fat loss plateau and reach my target.....

The last 4 months at work has been demoralising and dismal, since the transfer. I believe my performance has also reflected my general mood. This one is hard, and going to be harder, and I see no light at the end of the tunnel yet. Time and again, I have thought about giving up and just going somewhere else, but fear of change, and the knowledge that there is probably no where more suitable for me, has caused me to hang on. My natural optimism has helped a little, but I do not know how long I can sustain this situation. The fact that I can't see an end to what I am going through now, and better times aheads, is what is so difficult. I could grit my teeth and hang on, if I only knew sunlight is ahead, but the thought that I would probably have to plod on in the dark tunnel for the next 40 years, is simply too much. So, like the proverbial ostrich, I bury my head in the ground, and try not to think about it. Sometimes, escapism does help.....

Finally, I am resolved to do better financially, and exercise some self control in my spending. Having shopping centres and sale signs EVERYWHERE does not help though....

And so if I could clean up all this stuff, my life would be as close to perfect as it can be.

It IS the new year. Anything is possible. I just to have to persevere......