Thursday, 17 December 2009

I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP

This morning, I dreamt that I was back in my primary school canteen, queuing for food. I remember exactly what I wanted, fried rice, pork chops in sweet and sour sauce and stir fried cabbage. When I reached the head of the queue, everything was sold out. Nary a bit or a drop left.

I suppose this is my subconscious trying to internalise and accept the fact of my food drought for the next week or so. So much for being grateful just to be able to eat anything. I got over the fast quick enough, and now my psyche is crying out for richer stuff, no more porridge please. This morning I had to watch my sister down a juicy meat bun, followed by some pandan chiffon, a few peanut crackers and chocolates, while I sat there swallowing porridge, and I felt like I had descended into some kind of hellish existence. Oh, maybe some exaggeration, but close enough, and only something another foodie would understand.

Christmas and New Year is coming on fast. Too fast. Not that I have anything invested in these festive occasions, but it still means that a new year is dawning, I am closer to thirty two than thirty one, and I have to face life again. There is this bewilderness in me as I try to be adult and accepting, all the while scrambling in my head for ways to avoid this dawning for just another day.

Can I quote the Toys 'R Us jingle, "I don't want to grow up..."?

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