JUST ANOTHER DAY AT WORK

Hopes dashed. Big guns have changed their minds, and I am to remain where I am. Alternative plans are also shaky. And so am I.

Struggling not to cry. The toilet beckons, but red eyes and nose will give the game away later anyway. I think it will be extremely unprofessional for me to break down in tears at my workstation. Why give the men more justification that women cannot perform because we are over emotional etc etc?

A stray tear insists on finding its way out of its home despite my stiff suppression. Surreptitiously wiped away. Smile. Oh, something got into my eye.

A persistant refrain hammers at my brain, “The hours pass so slowly, since they threw away the key.” Oh, Bananarama. Look at the computer clock. Only 8.45 am? Feels like a lifetime has passed. And the refrain hammers on.

Get on the internet. Browser opens at CNN.com. Read about Haiti. Read about Obama’s problems. Read about people killing other people. Continue to keep convincing myself that life now is REALLY, REALLY not so bad.

Feel better. Somewhat.

Looks at the tender specifications resting on my table. Read a few lines. Daydream.

Think: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But what if I really, really hate lemonade?

I have no answer.

Get on the Internet again. Read more bad news.

The hours still pass slowly. It is only 9 am.

But at least the tears have stopped falling.